kran_yo

Things to consider:
  Eric got off the phone with Chris and I guess he asked if we would be willing to rent out our guest room for like two months. 
Okay, first thought: NO. Lol but really I like Chris, he's cool I just really, really don't want to have to deal with anyone elses business more then I have to. There is a lot of drama that comes along with him, his knocked up girlfriend and Megan. I just am trying so hard to stay out of it and bringing them all into our apartment isn't going to help. I do feel bad though...and it would REALLY help us out. :/ 

Thoughts: 
  To be honest I was stalking peoples facebooks and saw that Crissy just went from being in a relationship to singe- and I Mike talking to her a lot and wondered if that would ever happen... anyway I was looking at his page and some weird feelings hit me. (Not like OMG I miss him but like- it is SO sad he is the way he is because he did have a really cool side, just like Greg- and Terry and Kyle. All those fucks. They are all so fucked up and crazy (Like guys think GIRLS are crazy) but they also all have sides to them that is really... just cool. :/ Sadness.

 Current: 
  I'm at the shop, been since like 2am. UGH and Jamie is coming over around 1pm. I'm just going to dieeee. I wish I wouldn't have told her yes. I mean WTF are we gonna do out here? I'm gonna be dead tired and like dying and she's gonna wanna run around and do a bunch of shit. LOL Not that I mind having someone to hang out with for a hot second...but damn. Why so early!! She was suppose to have been out tonight. haha then she wouldn't wanna hang out till later. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip3knIMCtEA&feature=related

Ohh my goodness, I've missed Cursive.
I just spent a little time working on a playlist for them.
Brings back a weird variety of memories from ex-friends and ex-boyfriends...

Brings me back to when I met Keirsten.
I don't always agree with her choices or what she does with her life but she opened up a whole new world for me.
When I met her she had this confidence that just rained over everything.
She made me feel good about myself for the first time.

I remember before Warped, picking out clothes, straightening hair- watching her clean up her small room.
She made me listen to "Excerpts from various notes strewn around the bedroom of April Connolly:" besides thinking that was the longest name for a song ever, I didn't really like it.
The lyrics did hit home with m though, it was after awhile that I would get those words stuck in my head and I downloaded the song.
From there it was like kind of music that was completely new to me.

I still to this day don't know any other band like Cursive and I adore that.

Maybe even today this hits me harder being in a complicated relationship for almost 4 years. 
Makes me think of our fights, our ups and downs- the hardships. 

I've been watching this Anime. ^
Makes me want a sword made of fire. XD

I dyed under my bangs pink. It looks okay, could be cooler.



I can't believe I'm almost already on my 3rd week of school.
I've already had to write a paper, do lots of online homework and we even had a fire drill.
Totally made me fell like I was in high school all over again. (Which I secretly liked.)
I talked to a adviser today about getting a student loan.
I don't need more debt...but I see so many benefits of getting one.

Guess we are just gonna have to see...

Paris Hilton, actually. It's not really bad, it actually smells pretty good... just seriously reminds me of a whore. NOT because of Paris, because the only time I smelled this scent was on a certain person.

Anyway, we are on week 2 of school. Today we both had quizzes in our math classes. I don't know how Eric did but ours were posted after class.
I got 100% on CH 1 & 90% on CH 2.
I did check my answers with a calculator, even though we weren't really suppose to.
I'm horrible with little mistakes and I think it's shitty if I were to get a bad grade because of some little errors.
I understand what I'm suppose to be doing, I just am number dyslexic and everything looks all jumbled together after awhile.

I REALLY really wanna take an ASL class. Watching "Switched at Birth" has really made me want to learn sign language. I watched youtube videos of people using ASL in songs. It's so beautiful.

During the summer, it really felt like we were never going to start school.

Right now, we are in Windows 7&Word, Comp 1 and a math class.
I love the school store and how I can just buy whatever I want with my Finical Aid.
It's really going to help me stay focused and organized AND not worry about money right now.
That feeling I had the second day of school, was what I have been missing.
All the answers to where I want to be lead me back to school.
I'm so thankful that I'm able to do this and my life right now- is pretty much wonderful.

I created a resume after typing up my Windows chapters questions.
I want to find a job even while in school.

I've been watching Life Unexpected& It's such a good show.
Makes me sad though thinking about how many kids are out there who wants parents :(
Growing up without a dad makes me a little messed up like Lux.
Trying to move past the whole "Daddy issue" thing though. ha


Today Jamie came over with Trav and her friend Andrea.
They picked up a cat in Roseville somewhere.
It's really pretty. Hopefully everything works out with all that.
I took some videos of my nephew singing TGIF and Superbass.
He's such a monster, but I love him.

Just because I still get suprised at how crappy some of my friends are/act doesn't mean I haven't always noticed.
Denial can your bestfriend when you feel alone.

Tonight is making me think sitting alone being just "content" in my apartment is better then trying to be the glue to so many fading friendships.


How can I miss something that can never be the same again?
Truth is, I wish I could move further away some days.

I ignore what I don't have to deal with.

Inbetween games today, I checked my FB and had a message from Jamie. 
It was what I have been wanting, it really shocked me.


It wasn't until later when I was in the shower I realized I had a dream about Jamie the night before.


If that's not a sign, I have no clue what is. 


I feel like a lot of my friends are going to judge me because of how much shit me and the girl have talked about each other. 


If they really know me they will know it's impossible for me to hate anyone for too long. 


And I give out second chances like candy. 


Goals, 


1. THINK BEFORE I TALK/ talk less about- people. 
2. STOP GIVING A FUCK WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME. 

 Amanda spent the night tonight and we BORED the SHIT out of each other hahaha 
but really I had a good time we ate pizza, watched stand up- talked shit. 
Loved it. <3 
Pretty tired. 

 I slept about two hours before Jackie called me to tell me she was almost here. 
I must have went through a thousand outfits before I finally cut up a pink Tshirt and just said "fuck it" 
Jaclyn came to chill and show us some hilarious videos of a certain beautiful lady named Christina Perri and chocolate eating. 
She didn't stay long because she was going to bike night.
When Megan got here we walked to Speedway and got Slurpees and sat on our hill. 
Some random DJ guy kept talking to us he was alright but he seemed like a mooch.
Steve came and DJ was telling us his "pink and puffy" story which was a little too much information about him punching some girl in the pussy during sex. hahah o.o
Amanda and her boyfriend came over too :D
We mostly sat around talking about music, listening to each others stories and walking around meijer/ outside causing random mischief like high school kids. 
I loved it. <3 


Waiting for that DJ kid to come back. (Megan is on the phone with him) hahah